Could this possibly be you?

20 Jan 2021

Hi Folks,

Have I even sent you a new year message? Probably not, age is fast catching up with me, though I am yet to hit the big 50 which many consider the starting point.

The second wave of Covid-19 has somehow woven itself into our daily convos and it seems we only need to deal with it.

So I got caught up in a discuss on “Covid-19 and Surviving in Africa” and that special special who couldn’t spare the time to attend sent a special speech which got everyone thinking. See the speech below;

Is this you per chance?
In the mall, market, church, mosque, office, school?

They will organise a ‘small’ social event, invite 50 -100 guests and space the tables 2ft apart.

The guests will come, wearing masks, and have their temperatures taken at the entrance – including the asymptomatic ones.

They will wash their hands at the door then go in and settle down. It’s been a long hot day, and so you proceed to help yourself to the drinks already placed on your table.. . you pour yourself a glass and remove your face mask to drink.

The music is blaring and so the server is practically within kissing distance, to hear and take your order.

You’re still not wearing your mask, but it’s ok because the tables are 2ft apart, you washed your hands at the entrance, your temperature read normal and you came in wearing your mask.

He proceeds to take all other orders on your table and elsewhere in the same fashion. While drinking, your long-lost friend walks by and you stand up to embrace each other and catch up for 5 minutes at close range cos the music is loud.

Your mask is still off, but it’s okay because the tables have been set 2feet apart, you came in wearing your mask, washed your hands at the entrance and your temperature read ‘normal’.

Then it’s time for the celebrant’s dance. Some guests join in at the dance floor, gathering close together so the celebrant can notice them, spray and dance with him/her/them, while embracing and screaming congrats in their faces because the music is loud. They proceed to spray the band leader too.

But you choose to remain in your seat for safety reasons and so you feel safe.

After all, your tables have been set 2ft apart, you came in with your mask, washed your hands at the door, and your temp read normal.

After the dance-a-thon, the guests make their ways back to their respective tables, the very familiar ones passing by, and stopping to give you a friendly hug or rub on the shoulder. One or two actually stop over and bend to give you a light hug and pleasantries.

By now your mask is neatly tucked away in your bag, so the ofada sauce doesn’t stain it. In fact everyone’s mask is now either on the table, under their chins, in their bags or below their nostrils. But it’s okay though because the tables remain 2ft apart, you all came in wearing your masks, washed your hands at the door and your temps read normal.

And now they’re serving the small chops- different servers. These ones are actually wearing their own masks but with their large nostrils in full view, gleefully distributing any and everything they might’ve inhaled from the other table, exhaling and collecting from yours, to distribute elsewhere.

But it’s cool because you just remembered you have hand sanitizer in your bag. Coupled with that, the tables are still 2ft apart, you came in wearing a mask, you washed your hands at the door and your temperature read normal… what again?

Anyways, the party is really in full swing now because the band has rounded up, the D.J has taken over and so has the alcohol. People are now on their feet by their tables dancing in groups to the old school jams while others are trying to out-shaku themselves to Naira Marley’s beats.
The 3rd set of servers, completely devoid of the face masks have begun weaving through the small tipsy crowd to distribute fish and chips. And it goes on.

All in all the event was a blast… very well organized, and they even paid attention to all the necessary safety protocols.
2 to 4 days later, you’re down with a fever, you can’t smell or taste a thing and you cannot walk 3 steps without losing your breath. You’re also coughing with no sense of smell and taste. Thus you begin treating yourself for malaria and flu. Because you’re thinking – surely it’s got to be one or the other? Because you never go out, the only place you’ve been to in the last 4 weeks, was that party at the weekend, and they were very meticulous in following the safety guidelines.

Everyone went in wearing a mask, temperatures were taken at the door, everyone washed and sanitized their hands before entry and the tables inside were spaced 2ft apart for effective social distancing… so how could it possibly be COVID??”

Now, that is one speech that brings most of us in Africa to one universal set with subsets varying their styles slightly.

I can’t even absolve myself completely of this complacent attitude.

Folks, Covid-19 is real and the second wave is twice as bad.

Don’t loose your guard and stay safe.

Remember to make someone smile through your acts of kindness; sharing is an act of kindness too.


Ilupeju B